Today I find myself emotional. There's nothing that I'm aware of that should make me so emotional...yet the tears run endlessly. Liv has been teething rather bad lately so baby-wearing has helped me get things done. As I was sitting at the computer, with Liv in tote, "Oceans" came on pandora. That is when the tears came pouring out. I can't explain how much I love this song. It is truly one of those songs that speak to my soul in ways I've never known.
As I sat here crying, I suppose they were tears of overwhelming happiness. The happiness that God has brought to my life. The happiness that after everything I've been through this past year, I am blessed to be happy. To be able to smile and experience all the wonderful things God has bestowed upon me. I've told myself for years that happiness is a mindset, not attached to anything tangible or a milestone. Although it is something I've preached to myself, there hasn't been a time I could remember that I truly felt it, until now. I think that's where the emotion came rushing from. The very fact that I can feel this jubilance that they speak of in the bible, is simply emotional. The good kind.
I've been told a lot this past year from many, that God has something planned for Me. Except at that time I couldn't see it. I had lost so much. The pain & suffering overtook my soul that I just couldn't see clearly. Maybe time does heal all. My sweet Abigail can never be replaced, and I miss her more than words can ever show. With the 1 year anniversary creeping ever so closely, I can see clearly. Through suffering comes redemption. Through sorrow comes exultation. Through the darkest sky comes the brightest light and through the pain we shall find the jubilance of new life.
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" - Hillsong United
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
I pray that God will bestow the same jubilance and peace that is upon me, on you, when he feels is the right time for you to see it!
xoxo,
T
No comments :
Post a Comment