New Life

Thursday, September 26, 2013


Today I find myself emotional. There's nothing that I'm aware of that should make me so emotional...yet the tears run endlessly. Liv has been teething rather bad lately so baby-wearing has helped me get things done. As I was sitting at the computer, with Liv in tote, "Oceans" came on pandora. That is when the tears came pouring out. I can't explain how much I love this song. It is truly one of those songs that speak to my soul in ways I've never known. 

As I sat here crying, I suppose they were tears of overwhelming happiness. The happiness that God has brought to my life. The happiness that after everything I've been through this past year, I am blessed to be happy. To be able to smile and experience all the wonderful things God has bestowed upon me. I've told myself for years that happiness is a mindset, not attached to anything tangible or a milestone. Although it is something I've preached to myself, there hasn't been a time I could remember that I truly felt it, until now. I think that's where the emotion came rushing from. The very fact that I can feel this jubilance that they speak of in the bible, is simply emotional. The good kind. 

I've been told a lot this past year from many, that God has something planned for Me. Except at that time I couldn't see it. I had lost so much. The pain & suffering overtook my soul that I just couldn't see clearly. Maybe time does heal all. My sweet Abigail can never be replaced, and I miss her more than words can ever show. With the 1 year anniversary creeping ever so closely, I can see clearly. Through suffering comes redemption. Through sorrow comes exultation. Through the darkest sky comes the brightest light and through the pain we shall find the jubilance of new life.

                                   "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" -  Hillsong United
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

I pray that God will bestow the same jubilance and peace that is upon me, on you, when he feels is the right time for you to see it!



Project Organization: Liv's Medical Binder

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

With all the wonderful things that come with being a Mother to a micro preemie, there is also the never ending visits to Doctors & Specialists each week. With that comes the massive paper trail of medical records. Being that I've been on a quest to de-clutter my life and rid myself of the chaos, I decided to jump right in and create a medical binder that houses all of Olivia's medical paperwork. I used a multi-file folder case that is easy to fit in her diaper bag when I need to take it on the go!

Ps. Did I mention that I bought the 3 pack file folders & multi-file folder case from the dollar section at Target. Yep. I love me a good bargain. This entire system cost me a total of $3. If you see below I created a spreadsheet that contained all contact info and a place to put a copy of her insurance cards. This makes my OCD heart happy. If you want a copy, email me and I'll be more than happy to send it to you! {}

I also reorganized my other paperwork. I got rid of what I didn't need and properly filed the rest. This was before. My goodness, this was a daunting task to say the least.

The aftermath. Yes, this not only looks much better, but is functional. Ahhh...the feeling of organization soothes my soul.

I hope I've inspired those who've been wanting to do this, but like myself kept putting it off. It does feel good to check it off my list!

Cheers to project organization,

XO - T

Organized Chaos.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

As I sit here looking at my computer, I notice the ever-growing pile of mail, bills and file folders sitting on my desk. If I glance to my left, the loft is a mess. The laundry all sitting in piles, and I have the longest to-do-list imaginable. Even as I type, I keep adding to this list. Like clean makeup brushes, drop off the papers for Olivia's baptism, pick up birthday present for a birthday that happened a week ago -- yes, Im your last minute shopper. I actually asked Steven yesterday "how can someone be OCD, but yet still messy?" I get annoyed by everything that is out of place but I simply don't have the time to do it all. I 've always lacked consistency and lets be honest, I'm overwhelmed of being a stay at home mother - who feels the need to juggle it all. At the same time, even though there is clutter everywhere, I still feel a sense of peace. More than I ever have actually. Is everything chaotic? Yes. However, as the kids are off at school, and Olivia is taking her mid morning nap, I've been pulled to sit down and focus on what's most important, and that is God. He is undoubtedly ranked number one in our lives, yet do we really give him the attention that he deserves? I am the first to admit that in the past, my chaotic mess would come first on my list...but today it does not. All that could wait. God cannot.

On my journey to be closer to God, every morning I read "Jesus Calling". It's a daily devotional by Sarah Young. I've decided to dig a little deeper. It's one thing to read scripture and or a daily devotional... but to make it stick, one should interpret how it will apply to your life. To your every thought.

Live first and foremost in My Presence. Gradually you will become more aware of Me than of people and places around you. This awareness will not detract from your relationships with others. Instead, it will increase your ability to give love and encouragement to them. My Peace will permeate your words and demeanor. You will be active in the world, yet one step removed from it. You will not be easily shaken, because My enveloping Presence buffers the blow of problems.

This is the path I have set before you. As you follow it wholeheartedly, you experience abundant Life and Peace.

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness.
—Psalm 89:15–16

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
—Psalm 16:8

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
—2 Peter 1:2

Here are a couple of things that stuck for me;

Live first & foremost in my presence.

Don't allow yourself to become overwhelmed by life and it's clutter and ongoing, never-ending chaos. - Focus on things you have control over. Focus your energy on God.  Your relationship with him. Be thankful for all that he has blessed you with.
- Know that everything else will be taken care of in its own time and manner.

My peace will permeate your words and demeanor.

-Take your thoughts and turn them into your actions. From the words you speak, to the things you do. - Allow peace to embody every being of you. Mind, body, & soul.
- Peace is a mind frame.  It is not attached to a destination nor is tangible.

This is the path I have set before you. As you follow it wholeheartedly, you experience abundant life and peace.

When life gets the best of you, don't allow it to effect you. Instead KNOW undoubtedly that the path you are on, God has set, and for good reason. He sees what you do not. He knows everything. Trust him wholeheartedly and the rest will fall into place. 
- He will never fail you. He will never abandon you. 

I hope you & yours have a blessed day,

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