Dear Abigail

They say time heals all and I would have to strongly disagree. See, as each day goes by I miss you more. I look at your sisters smile and cry because I yearn to see yours! I yearn to hold you, & kiss you,  & rock you sleep. I know we can't go back in time, because if we could, I would do so many things differently. I know you're with your creator smiling down on us, and at times I feel as though your presence is here. Lately I've been crying for you, even though I know this was part of gods plan, I just want you back in my arms again. I love you so much and there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of you and call out your name. You my sweet angel, will forever be my darling baby! I love you Abi and I hope you can feel it in your soul, just like I can feel your love in mine! 

Love always & forever, 

Your mommy! 

Retro love...

It's been a long time since I've drafted a pattern or sewed anything. Let me tell you, it was no walk in the park! Sewing silk is not easy but fun none less. With Olivia being my muse, I wanted to create this silky, lightweight frock that is perfect for a hot summer day. I'll have to sharpen my skills for sure...but I am happy with the way the dress turned out! See below of Liv modeling the dress oh so cutely! 

Snack attack!

On most days, I eat 2-3 meals which are larger rather than portion controlled. Being that I'm on a quest to get healthy and lose this baby weight, I have to teach myself to eat smaller portions more frequently!

Here's a "clean" yet tasty mid-morning snack that is filled with protein & healthy fats. A balance of both is key, in addition to portion control. See below for a quick and easy recipe that can be perfect for your snack attacks! 

Ingredients:

• 6 large eggs, hard boiled 
• 1 medium haas avocado
• 2-3 tsp fresh lime juice
• 1 tsp red onion, minced
• 1 tbsp minced jalapeno
• 1 tbsp fresh cilantro, chopped
• kosher salt , and fresh ground pepper, to taste
• 1 tbsp diced tomato
• pinch chile powder (for garnish)

Directions:

Peel the cooled hard boiled eggs.

Cut the eggs in half horizontally, and set the yolks aside. 

In a bowl, mash the avocado and 2 whole egg yolks; discard the rest. Mix in lime juice, red onion, jalapeño, cilantro, salt and pepper and adjust to taste. Gently fold in tomato.

Scoop heaping spoonfuls of the guacamole into the 12 halved eggs. Sprinkle with a little chile powder for color and arrange on a platter.

Floral Delight

Having a little girl makes it almost definite that impromptu photo shoots will happen, frequently. Hence today, a beautiful day, plus a beautiful baby, equals one cute mini impromptu photo shoot....just because. I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I do :) 

Father's Day Festivities

I think I've finally given in to my domesticated side. It's always been present, but I would fight it for some reason. Perhaps it was the environment that I was raised in where my Mother was your all time "Super Woman Mommy" who did it all while my Dad was bringing home the bacon. Oh did I mention my mother worked two jobs too!? On top of that, she was also in charge of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, errand running, taking care of my brother and I and then some. I guess growing up as somewhat of a feminist, I despised it. I despised serving my dad food, cleaning, and  downright refused to cook when I was younger. I ALWAYS said I would be the one bringing home the bacon and I would find a man who could do the rest! Ha. Oh how life has changed. With my given situation and Olivia being my special baby who has many doctors appt, severe reflux, CLD, and refuses to eat from anyone, and I mean anyone other than me... it makes it damn near impossible to bring home any kind of bacon! Hence me giving in to my domesticated side.

It's actually not as bad as I made it out to be. 2 years ago my life was filled with work, travel, going out & a lot more work. Consumed 24/7 with my career and didn't even think twice about it. Now I have a family of 5 to take care of and boy do they depend on me to be the Mommy, wife, friend, secretary, housekeeper, chef, chauffeur, nurse, launderer, and well everything and anything in between. I must admit that yesterday was the first time that I enjoyed being all of those things, and accepted my life for what it is. It may not be what I had planned, but I believe God is guiding me on the right path, and he ultimately knows my plan better than I do.

As promised from my sneak peek photos on my http://instagram.com/tiffanydessa,  here is an amazing recipe for Zucchini Boats below! I try really hard to make sure the kids eat up as much veggies as possible and this was such a great & delicious way to get them to eat them up, literally...they were devoured! Dominick even said "I've never seen bacon & cheese mixed with veggies, ever!"

 

Since I made it for my family of twelve, I had made a bigger batch and had some of the filling left over...a lot actually. I got creative and added some veggies to the mix. I scooped out some of the portobello mushrooms, chopped it up and added it to the left over filling. I then filled the mushrooms and bell peppers just until it peeked out. I wanted a little crunch so I sprinkled all the zucchini boats, mushrooms, & bell peppers with bread crumbs and Italian seasoning. Place mushrooms & bell peppers in a baking pan, add a couple teaspoons of olive oil to the pan and the tops of the veggies and pop them into the oven at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Enjoy!

Zucchini Boats on the Grill

Rated: Submitted By: BAJATHECAT Photo By: mominml Prep Time: 20 Minutes Cook Time: 25 Minutes Ready In: 45 Minutes Servings: 4

"Delish zucchini stuffed with your favorite ingredients and finished on the hot grill. Great side dish or as a light meal on their own."

INGREDIENTS:

2 medium zucchini 1 slice white bread, torn into small pieces 1/4 cup bacon bits 1 tablespoon minced black olives 1 jalapeno pepper, minced 3 tablespoons diced green chile peppers

1/4 cup minced onion 1/4 cup chopped tomato 6 tablespoons shredded sharp Cheddar cheese 1 pinch dried basil seasoned salt to taste ground black pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Prepare the grill for indirect heat.
2.	Place the zucchini in a pot with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil, and cook 5 minutes. Drain, cool, and cut in half lengthwise. Scoop out the pulp to about 1/4 inch from the skin. Chop pulp.
3.	In a bowl, mix the zucchini pulp, bread pieces, bacon bits, olives, jalapeno, green chile peppers, onion, tomato, and Cheddar cheese. Season with basil, seasoned salt, and pepper.
4.	Stuff the zucchini halves with the pulp mixture. Seal each stuffed half in aluminum foil.
5.	Place foil packets on the prepared grill over indirect heat. Cook 15 to 20 minutes, until tender.

Happy 7 Months!?

There's never a dull moment around here. Miss Olivia is surely keeping us on our toes and this week was a perfect example of it. We celebrated my parents 35th Wedding Anniversary on Monday with this amazing Portuguese dish my Grandma used to make. I intended on snapping a picture of it, but I devoured it before I remembered to...

Fast forward to Wednesday where Olivia had a follow up appt with her Nephrologist (Kidney Specialist). Due to some major kidney failure in the Nicu, they need to make sure her kidneys weren't damaged and are growing appropriately. Her Nephrologist is such a nice Doctor and she couldn't believe how great Olivia is  doing. It always gives me great reassurance when I hear it from the doctors how good she is doing because with a micro preemie  it could go either way and I am so thankful that God has blessed us with good health and growth! Since we were at CHOC, we decided to go pay a much needed visit to our extended Nicu family. It was great seeing her team and our favorite nurse! Being back there did bring back some not so great memories and I made sure to say a special prayer for all those babies fighting for their life! To think that it has only been a little over 2 months since Liv has been home amazes me. Life feels complete with her and too go back to those 5 months in the hospital where I had to leave her makes me cry. If I go out to the grocery store for an hour, I rush home to see her! She is my everything and then some. God knew what he was doing when he created her, as she is an extraordinary baby that I am blessed to love & obsess over.

I feel like she hit so many mini milestones these week. She has been smiling a lot, which makes me smile of  course. I can't explain the feeling you get when your baby smiles for the first time...it's amazing. Did I mention I started giving her solids? Oh yes, we've started that journey. It's actually a pretty big deal since she had an oral aversion just 3 months ago and didn't want anything in her mouth. For her to let me put a spoon in her mouth without gagging and actually enjoying is major. Oh and lets not forget teething! Yes, Livy has two bottom teeth that are present in her gums currently...which basically means, fussy, refusing to eat, but wants nothing but fingers in her mouth baby times. Exciting times over here!

 I guess the biggest of them all is my baby girl turned 7 months, 3 months adjusted yesterday! I can't believe it's been 7 months since I gave birth to my daughters. I just can't believe it. It feels like it happened yesterday. Call me crazy, but I believe that when you pass on, your soul remains and is present when need be. There are certain times I'm in the room with Olivia and I feel Abigail's presence or I say "Abigail, is that you? Are you here with us?" because I truly feel she is. On Wednesday night, close to midnight which would make it the 13th (the twins birthday) we were all watching a movie in bed. Steven, Liv, the boys and I were all cuddled up watching this movie when out of nowhere there this ladybug was crawling on Dylan. Now you can call me crazy but I 100% feel like it was a sign from Abigail letting us know she was with us. Ever since Liv was born I've called her my little lovebug and I am even planning on a ladybug theme for her first birthday. This ladybug just continued to crawl all over Dylan and he even tried to take her off but she just came back. The mysteries of life are what make it great, and I am embrace them all.

I miss my sweet angel baby, Abi. Mommy loves and misses you more with each passing day. Well I've got to get going, we've got Liv's  Physical Therapist coming any minute and I'm still in my pjs! :)

P.S. Here are some pictures of Livy over the past 7 Months!