I've been in denial for the past month or two on how big of a detour my life was beginning to take...already. I was beyond happy when I found out I was pregnant, and ever more with twins. I however thought that my pregnancy would be no big deal and I would be able to plow through life as if nothing had changed. I was so wrong, and in denial to say the least.
I'm not sure if it was bad timing on my part, or God's sign for something I still have yet to experience but launching a fashion business while being pregnant with twins is hard. I, having the super woman mentality that I have, did not let it stop me until about a month ago. I was still knee deep into the business going on meetings, schlepping samples around, and working around the clock. I was determined that my pregnancy would not get in the way of my business success and I was adamant that I could do it all. One Sunday I had slept most of the day away as I had a busy week prior. I woke up around 5 in the evening from my nap to find myself bleeding. At that exact second in time, my heart stopped and the only thing I could think of was if my babies were okay? I was rushed to the hospital and admitted. Thankfully everything was okay and my little angels were safe and sound but the doctor had said that carrying multiples is very demanding on your body and is considered a high risk pregnancy. Every day counts and my OB ordered me to be on complete bed rest. I was not allowed to do anything except eat, shower, and rest. This was a total shock to me since I was only 16 weeks at the time. I've seen so many pregnant women working through their pregnancy up until the baby was born and I just thought I would be one of those women. 2 weeks into my bed rest and I had a complete breakdown. All of my hard work and money invested into the business has to be put on complete hold and this was not an easy pill to swallow.
I woke up one morning and had remembered a couple of dreams about the business from the night and I just started balling in bed. Steven immediately asked me what was wrong and I just couldn't stop crying. He gave me a lot of perspective and made me realize that just because my life is taking a detour, it does not mean that its over and my dreams of launching a business is over. It just means there is another route that I will need to take to get there one day and for now, a new path has opened and I am destined to follow it! Thank God for blessing me with my partner in life because Steven has truly been my back bone supporting me throughout all of this. I am so lucky to have such an amazing man and partner in life. I've finally given in and left my life in God's hands. I've let it all go and am finally at peace with enjoying every moment of my pregnancy and making sure I do everything to keep my babies safe and sound for at least 16 more weeks! I'm 20 weeks to day and it's vital to keep them cooking in my tummy until 36 weeks and if that means laying in bed for the next 16 weeks, I'm determined to do so. They are my life and they depend on me for their lively hood and it has finally sunken in that this is all happening for a reason...and the day I finally hold my babies in my arms, nothing else will matter :)
THINKING ABOUT: Diapers! LOL sounds funny huh? Well since we are having twins, I am already starting to obsess about all the logistics both financially and functionally of what we need to prepare for their arrival. Diapers are not cheap, and having two times the poo will be costly to say the least. Thus I'm already starting to stock pile diapers! I've researched a ton and got a lot of tips from others and the key is to get diapers when the are on sale and its hard when your babies are already here and in need. If I stock up now, I can wait for the sales and coupons since the babies wont be here until March.
WATCHING: Everything & Anything. My days are wide open now and consist of reading and watching my shows such as Vampire Diaries :)
CRAVING: As of late it has been black olives & frosted flakes! Not together of course but its no surprise that you see me open a can of black olives and eat them up right out of the can like a meal! Just last night I was having such a craving for a bowl of frosted flakes that I asked me lovely hubby to go to the grocery store at 10pm to go get me some since we were all out. They are sooo good and makes me one happy mama!
FEELING: Happy & Blessed. Content that my life is exactly where is destined to be and enjoying every minute of it!
xoxo, T
